i'm just a lil' too late

two men died today, febraury 26 2010

A father and son

The father died trying to save his son

The son died in his sleep

Cause of death: a fire

both were burned to death in their own home
THEIR OWN HOME

the mother?
she escaped
she tryed to save them but was blocked by flames
so she sat in the snow and cried
waiting and hopeing
that her husband and son would come out alive
her tears were like rivers when the firefighters
draged out her families dead, chared bodies
now all she has left
is her 20 year old son
who wasnt home that night

what does this teach us?
and will it teach you?
we need to honnor life wile we still have it
and enjoy the people we have
wile we still have them

i talked to the son not 3 hours before his death
i smiled at him and said "hay whats up?"
than went back to what i was doing
he was an awsome man and not many people knew him
not many people egnalaged him for what he was

he was billiant
he was sweet

he was nice

he was... one of he coolest guys i knew

he was nice to me when i was mean to him

I wish i had goten to know him better

i wish i had said "hay he weather's bad why dont you stay the night here"

when i knew i should have

i miss him

and i wish he knew

save me (soon prefereably)

Dear who ever's reading this,

I've lost my way and now i've disappeared.

i can't seem to find my way out.

so if you could come and find me...

maybe if it wouldnt be to much of a bother...

if you really want to.

i could really use your help

im vary afraid
she says she's going to kill me in my weakest moment

 i dont want to die
save me if you could
maybe
just a little
if you waned to

I Need Help?

Show Me the Love

show me the love

that i could not find

show me the pain

that i could not leave behind

lost in the past

where nothing has color

seaching for a place

i could not discover

my final words stand

for the things i could not undestand

with impaitions and guilt

and a slip of my hand

i didnt mean to do it

to take it that far

i only wanted to feel it

and leave my wirst ajar

feelings feelings

they all fade away

as a light shines bright

at the end of the day

Each Fight

Each night she contimplates

Each night she holds the razor blade

Each night she feels the pain of the memories

Each night, Each night, Each night

Three times a night she fights for her life

Agenst an undefetable aponent

Herself

Each day she gets out of bed and pretends to live

Each day she puts a mask ove the pain

Each day she comes home to her reminder

Each day, Each day, Each day

Three times each day she cat help but stop

And think to herself "Can't you just staop?"

             No matter how strong she wants to be

            She cant beat the temptation

      So now after each day and each night

            She sits with the razor blade

           Alone in the clean white bath tub

The final blow hits and she looses to herself

White to Red, Water to Cherry, Tears to Blood

  No fight is Truely won

Lone Bird

the skies are blue

and the air is clean
no clouds in sight
for miles ands miles
i look up to the sky
something cathches my eye

it flys swift
it flys with grace
it flys with the color black
it flys as a riminder
that we fly alone when all is lost

than all of a sudden
one more
than two fly side by side

than another

now fly three

two at the flanks of the first

this raven wasnt alone

help wasnt far behind

Star

STAR

See that shiny star?

it seems so close

but truely far

the light it gives to us

it makes us smile

but if it were to close

there would be no denial

the pain would be too great

so much me might faint

no matteer how much

you eally want to touch it

i wont always be happy in the end

you might be caful

with fragile care

no to damage you last beath of aww

adn hope the last is the best

or just as good as all the rest

Good Night

last night

my mother said "good night"

than she said

"dont let the bed bugs bite"

i asked her why

and she said

"dont wory love you wont die"

so i said to my mother

"ill be sure to let them

bite me in the night,

cuz i have no wory cuz i wont die

cuz if i died

and i dont know why

id miss this place and all its evil grace"

so than i smiled

and kissed her good night

and whisped in he ear

"dont let the bed bugs bite"

December

Remember December

when it was end of November

when the year was growing dim as an ember

we stood together, warm and tender

your arm warped around me, soft and slender

it takes me back to last December

Back to July 

when i said good-bye

I felt cold and asked my self 'Why?'

Why? Oh, why did i say good bye?

but now i remember why

I said good-bye

Because in late July...

I came alive

Death Tune

VANILLA TWILGHT

the song i hum when i cant sleep

tthe tune i held dear for the longest time

the beat that me heart beats to

Vanilla Twilght owl city

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

i would give anything to have my darling near

LOVE LIES

Smells suger sweet

yet tastes bitter as dirt

Looks as soft as roses

yet feels as couse as barded wire

Sounds sweet as an angel

yet you know its a demon

You can hold it you can feel it

yet the happieness ain't real

You can touch it you can smell it

yet you still know it isnt true

Thats the way love desieve you

It lies and tells you its true

than two seconds later it walks away from you

no more blood

the emo kid sits on his floor crying
wishing hopeing that soon he'd be dieing
he had another fight with a kid at school
because they think cutting is not cool
so they beat his ass ant than walk away
so now the boy sits hopeing to end it today

he stands up and walks
to the other side of the room
the top dresser drawer now holdes his doom
he grabs his razor blade and imagins it talkes
it says to him
"i am your only escape"

than the boy screams and trows it to the floor
and yell to his evil friend
" no more blood will be shen for this world of pain and evil"

MORAL OF THE STORY? you may ask
that no man or woman should die for this world
it just shows it that your weak and that it has won
but if you fight the pain and all it convictions
you show that your strong and that the world has lost